Santa Cruz

comment by Bartholomew Russell Essex III , 2008-08-24 04:50:50

The real Santa Cruz insider info
I am a local here and I have lived here my whole life, and at 65 thats a long time. Dont believe all that good stuff you hear about SC waves being really epic and consistent. I hear visiting surfers always complaining about the inconsistency, plaguing onshores, and crappy weather. When Im having my Acai smoothie and walking my dog Jeffrey in the typical foggy morning down at the Chill Out cafe, it kills me to see these visitor surfers all bummed out all the time,I tell them, "Hey, you should have gone to Newport. The girls are way hotter and way more down to earth there, its sunny, and uncrowded with goood waves." I was even chatting with Kalani Robb recently, and he was like, "Yea, man its so cold and the waves are so small, how do you guys do it?" And I told him, "well son, when youre old and crusty like me, all you have to do is grab a metal detector -- me an ole Jeffrey here go down to 26th Ave an have ourselves a blast." Then we just laughed and walked down to the hook to discuss how bocce ball would be a terrific Olympic sport. Here in SC it is not uncommon to have frequent flat spells lasting as long as 6 weeks, even during the winter time. Thats why you always see locals drinking beer, skateboarding, and fog bathing. Its foggy at least 300 days a year. It just doesnt get that good at all. Maybe it will turn on about 10 days out of the year, but then what are you supposed to do during the other 355 days? Magazines and the like might tell you different, but they are trying to generate tourism and money. Dont be fooled! Santa Cruz waves, when they do turn on those 10 days a year, are thin lipped and weak, where all the pros can practice their skateboard skills. The biggest it ever gets here in town is 5 foot. Thats why SC is known for aerials. No hollow waves exist here! This place is a bad place to be a surfer. The reason why all the locals are always so pissed is because there are no waves!!! How would you feel if you could only surf 10 days a year? For you non surfers, think of it like this: what if you had a really hot girlfriend who lived in Bali but you can only have sex with her in spirit? Yea, now you can really see what I mean.

comment by Anonymous, 2008-05-20 00:48:42

tasty meth?
i heard that all the pro guys up in SC are into meth. is that true? i mean, i dont beleive it! the pros up in sc like flea, barney, rat, mole, rabbit, snake, roach, oppossum, raccoon, and coyote, are all such nice, clean cut american boys. they dont appear to be on meth at all. meth makes you happy, smile, and give waves to fellow surfers. besides sleep is overated

comment by Anonymous, 2008-05-04 06:48:01

dickheads
santa cruz - the land of small mindminded whiteboy dickheads. the land of coastal rednecks. F U santa cruz