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Anonymous surfer in south-west of France. Photo by C. Naslain, 2016.
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By Jimmy Carter
Pipeline? Never heard of it. - All these new spots are Greek to me. Sunset, Pipeline, Waimea? Never heard of them, and all of a sudden everyone knows about them. Very odd. Guess I haven't been keeping up with the trends.I suppose that next, people will start telling stories of a big wave in Northern California that is as big as Hawaii.What's after that, getting pulled into waves by a boat or (what are those things?) wave skis or jet runners? Man, I feel like a dinosaur. The other day a friend told me that people sometimes have TWO fins on a board and a couple guys even put three fins on a board. What's up with that? Next you'll probably try to convince me that straight men ride bodyboards too.I can only say that progress is good. It just disappoints me that they haven't made a film about girl surfers and their dreams of surfing big Hawaiian waves. Time to get with the times, guys.
By Mother Bush
no title - Jeb, Doro loves you. She cares for all of her brothers. She would do anything for you. I would have hoped that you could have learned to get along after how many years? You astound me with your childishness sometimes. And you expected the Presidency from your Father? Not with that disposition. I think that you should fly out to Pipeline this weekend and surf with me. Your Father and Doro are planning on filming from the beach and we can bond out there. I'm going to wax up my 9'6 log and drop in on Sunny and Bruce. There's supposed to be a North swell and I'm so excited about hanging with the pros. Do you think that they will let me catch any waves on my own? I know that it's a far cry from golfing, but I'm confident that I can show those mokes how a true Republican surfs.
By PEDRAO DADA MAURICIO PAULISTA
GUESS WHO S COMING.......... - NEXT WEEK GET READY BRASIL TOP SURFERS AND JUI JITSU FIGHTERS WILL BE DROPING SOME WAWES RESPECT OR THE GRACIE STUDENTS WILL GIVE YOU A FREE LESSON
By Jeb Bush
no title - Speaking of "The Pool" it was awesome today. It was really uncrowded. The only problem was this Japanese kid who kept yelling things every time I caught a wave. I got no idea what he was saying. I couldn't even tell, by his expression and mannerisms, if he was friend or foe. Well anyway I'm settling down to a nice breakfast after my session. Hey Noelle just got in. She's been gone since Monday. Hey Noelle where have you been? Noelle. Noelle. Jees she must be completely whacked out now. I don't know if she even heard me or was just ignoring me. Doro called me last night. She's such a bitch. She kept going on about George. How great he is and such. George did this and George did that. Mom please tell her not to bother me anymore. Well I got some governmenting I got to get to.
By Mrs. G. B. Senior
Yes Dear - I think that the webmaster removed our messeges in protest of our political views (or our messed up family). Maybe it's because you ordered that woman's feeding tube to be put back in. My family just gets more controversial every day. At least your brother managed to finagle all those billions from Congress, he should be quite pleased with himself. Your father never managed a feat like that one in his Presidency. How's everything at Typhoon Lagoon? I pray that you don't pick some nasty disease in that pool from surfing with those lowlifes.
no title - Yo mom you notice how somebody took off our messages.
By Roberto Sturbank
100% pure adrenaline - "Some people snort for it, some people jab a vein, all you gotta do is surf pipe" says Bodhi as he sits on his board out in the lineup. Dalton, on a boogie board, coolly surveys the scene, ready to kick some ass Road House style. A perfect set wave approaches, and Bodhi and Dalton both paddle for it, as they are highly evolved beings who have learned the art of wave sharing. However, on this wave they drop in on Sunny Garcia purposefully, because they do not respect his "vibe" out in the water. Sunny wipes out, and gets mad. Bodhi jumps off of his board (no leash) and begins to twirl around in the air like he did in the Point Break skydiving scene, finally landing with a kick to Garcia's chops. Sunny isn't phased, and attempts to punch Bodhi. "My way or the highway" says Dalton, and rips Sunny's throat out. The moral? Be like Bodhi, man.
By Flake the lonely sponge
respect - well this is the place that made surfing world known and as popular as it is today, but there are to many halfwits out there that have no other ambition other than to become a local this spot and will crack skulls just to prove that they have nuts. Thankfully those idiots dont know what computers are.
Terribly Over Rated - The Pipe is only so popular because it was made famous by the Hollywood crowd making the first surf movies in the 70's and show casing this place. Otherwise the mystic is great, however, now that people from all over the world surf and new places have been explored, the Pipeline is a "Johnny Come Lately". Chili, the Canary Islands, Northern California, Washington, Africa, Argentina etc.....all have waves much better and less crowded. Further, surfing with local Hawaiian dumb asses with IQ's combined which cannot reach room temperature makes me feel like the world has been dumbed down and this isn't attractive either. Let these stupid ass, pideon speaking duralects keep their waves and their fat, ugly ass Somoan, stinky/smelly woman for themselves as eating rotten coconuts and octopus makes one's stomach kelter with vomit.
By i rip
i would hate to live at pipe. - i know an island in the north east that would rip up pipe any day. its called nantucket and the island off of that is tuckernuck were it picks up every swell and doubles its size and the wave goes on and on i would say around 30 people in the world know abought this spot and i dont care if you do because you will not find it you have to take a boat. so wile you guys are looking cool in your close out ill be surfing amazing surf. hahaha sucks to live at pipe
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