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Teiki Mathieu Baillan surfing a self-made Alaia surfboard in Lances Left, Mentawaï, Indonesia. Photo by C. Naslain, 2009.
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North shore boarding house - Joey Merlino probably just put on his zinc oxide (Bright Pink) and paddled out to Family housing............Ask somebody where family housing is....
By Joey Merlino
no title - I just got done watching the new episode of Boarding House. It is the greatest show I have ever seen except for Surf Girls on MTV. Surf Girls is awesome. For those who never seen it they take abunch of chicks who can't surf and put them through training exercises and surf contests and based on these things and their attitudes throw off a chick every now and then. The last one left, now get this, gets a wild card spot in some pro contest. Some of these bitches can barely stand up. One of them was from Athens,GA. GA is the least consistent state in the East coast and Athens ain't exactly on the coast. Anyway the boarding house rules. That Sunny Garcia is hysterical. I love watching him get pissed off. So far I've seen him bitch slap two people. One guy got slapped by Mr. Garcia because the guy looked at sunny's bitch. If anyone knows Sunny tell him I went through back issues of Surfer and found a picture of his bitch and I totally ruined the magazine- if you know what I mean. Take that Sunny. If Mr. Garcia wants to bitch slap me I can be found "workiing" in the vicinity of Tennessee and Atlantic avenues in Atlantic City,NJ. Sometimes if the cops are turning on the heat I could be on one of the next blocks over. I got the fat dimes niggas got garbage down the way.
North shore boarding house - Once again, idiots have sold out surfing, reminds me of Mike Purpus in 5 summer stories.Thanks alot children.Oh yeah , Time has come to unveil da truth.
Pipe Down! - Gulf coast is rockin'. We get this like 3' wind chop that you pussies call like 12' and shit. Were real hardcore! I have this spot that I get barreled for like 299.6 yards but dont yet have a photo because I'm stuffed like so far in. Then we have this sand bottom thats like razor blades! When it gets big lie over 20 feet, we get the skis and make Jaws look like the fucking great lakes. Yeah thats right. Me and the gulf coast 2getha 4eva.
By Dick Kane
Gonna Stomp Your Ass - Hi, I'm Rick Kane's younger brother Dick Kane. I'm busy in Orlando, FL right now, practicing for the Pipe Classic at Typhoon Lagoon. I'm getting pretty good with my big bro's help, and I plan on dominating this year at Pipeline. My brother told me to get ahold of Chandler while I'm out there also. Have any of you guys seen him latley? If you do, tell him I said hi, and that I'm coming out there soon. Rick said not to worry about locals also. He said that if you act like a complete tool and pretend like you don't know your head from your ass, that you will get in good with all the locals. I'll see you guys this season, and don't get mad at me if I drop in on you and cause you to get fucked up. I'm new you know. Laters Bra!
By a dick dragger (and wat!)
for all those that say bodyboarders are weak.... - ...take a look at no friends new video "lost cause" (NF 6). booyah muthafukka!
By Jeb Bush
no title - I just got back from a trip to Hawaii that my wife won on "The Price is Right." She got to kiss Bob Barker. She was stoked. Anyway the other day Pipe was going off. I'm a local at the Typhoon Lagoon wave pool at Disney World, so I had no problem handling the wave at pipe. It was 6-8 foot Orlando scale and dredging. It would have been a great session if it wasn't for all of the big dumb stupid mokes out in the water. My God they were everywhere. Ho brah Ho brah and a bunch of nonsensical babble was all one could hear. What language do these barbarians speak. It certainly wasn't the Queen's English. One stupid moke was verbally assaulting a poor women on a bodyboard because he dropped in on her. So I calmly told this animal to shut his mouth and he preceeded to threaten me with violence. I paddled away from him but kept my eye on him. When I saw him go for a wave I quickly paddled next to him and started to rub his buttocks. Needless to say the big dumb stupid moke got very excited and asked me out to dinner. I had to decline since I am married. This greatly dissappointed the big dumb moke and he started to cry. I took him in my arms and told him it would be everything would be allright. I would just like to tell this gentleman that I love him. People out in the water that day were calling him Johnny Boy. Does anyone know who he is? I would like to get together with him sometime
By Mike D.
Bodyboarders are weak? - How do you justify that man. So what if we're on our belly and surfers are standing up. Are we not on the same wave? I'm a bodyboarder and proud of it. Always wanted to surf but neva had the money. Why you calling us pussies? They're things we can say about surfers but we don't sink dat low. You can say whatever you like man. As long as I pull into a nice overhead barrell and come out, I'm all smiles man. And surfking158, whenever you in da area let me know braddah. Show some respect when you out there and you'll snag a couple waves to yourself.
Pipeline surf is for wussies - come down to the gulfcoast of florida and surf are kamikazee knee high surf and get thrown down into are nice soft sand bottoms and then tell me pipeline is intense
By Arthur Ramsbottom (Age43)
Thank's puget sound sucks. - Now I won't have to spend all day looking for her. Will you be there in August to teach me ???? I cant wait to meet you. I'll be wearing a flourescent yellow and pink wetsuit and will be using a 10 foot mal. I shouldnt be too difficult to spot. Can anyone recomend a good way to keep my glasses on when I'm in the surf.
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