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Australian for Beer? - 2008/02/02 10:05 Come naked?

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow?

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney; can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay?
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia?

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do and come naked.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia?
A: You are a British politician, right? Come naked.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Come naked

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum.

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make very good pets!

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia?

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?

A: Yes, any gay night club. Come naked.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help?

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first!
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Re:Australian for Beer? - 2008/02/03 08:41 Four X is the beer mate!
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Re:Australian for Beer? - 2008/02/04 11:24 Yeah its a good drop indeed Bluey
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Re:Australian for Beer? - 2008/02/04 18:02 Bloody Queenslanders!! Get on some half decent beers into yas. Some Coopers, Platinums, EDs etc!! Or My favourite...Homebrew!! My batch is ready to bottle in 5 or so days. Cant wait
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Re:Australian for Beer? - 2008/02/04 21:04 To all homebrewers and churners, read this first:
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Re:Australian for Beer? - 2008/02/07 09:53 Stick a bloody banana in your gob as they say in good old Queensie. (Must admit never tried a Coopers ... stuck over here in La La Land so Anchor is about as close as you can get to a good local drop.)

Coopers Beer:

"Coopers Brewery is an Australian beer company, publicly owned but not listed with a stock exchange. Its shares are primarily owned by the extended Cooper family, and the company's constitution makes it difficult to sell shares outside the family. The brewery was established by Thomas Cooper in 1862 at his home in Norwood then in 1881 relocated to larger, commercial facilities at Leabrook in Adelaide, South Australia, and in 2001 moved to Regency Park. Coopers is known to make a variety of high quality beers, most famous of which is its Sparkling Ale. It is also well established as a producer of home brew supplies.

Cooper's beers are widely available on tap in South Australia, and in some bars in the rest of Australia as specialty beers. It is widely available bottled around Australia and occasionally at specialist importers in other countries.

Coopers' bottled beers are characterised by their secondary fermentation technique - some yeast remains in the bottle after bottling - thus the bottled beer contains some sediment. There are two schools of thought with regards to the sediment - some drinkers like to mix the sediment throughout the beer by tipping or rolling the beer before drinking, while others prefer to decant the beer into a glass leaving (most of) the sediment at the base of the bottle.

In late 2005, Lion Nathan made an unsolicited takeover bid for Coopers, which was strongly opposed by Coopers' management, and ultimately rejected at an Extraordinary General Meeting when 93.4% of the shareholders voted in favour of permanently removing the 3rd tier purchasing rights of Lion Nathan, effectively preventing any current or future takeover bid."

Anchor Steam Beer:

"Steam beer may be defined as a highly effervescent beer made by brewing lager yeasts at ale fermentation temperatures. It has two distinct but related meanings:

Historic steam beer, by all accounts strong-tasting, produced in California from the mid-1800s to the mid-1900s;
Modern California Common beer, the official name for the beer family which includes Anchor Steam beer.
Historic steam beer, associated with San Francisco and the U. S. West Coast, was brewed with lager yeast without the use of refrigeration. It was an improvised process, originating out of necessity, perhaps as early as the Gold Rush. It was considered a cheap and low-quality beer, as shown by references to it in literature of the 1890s and 1900s.

Modern steam beer, properly known in the brewing community as California Common beer, was originated by Anchor Brewing Company, which trademarked the name Anchor Steam Beer in 1981. Although the modern company has corporate continuity with a small brewery which was still making traditional steam beer in the 1950s, Anchor Steam beer is a craft-brewed lager. The company does not claim any close similarity between it and turn-of-the-century steam beer.

Explanations of the word "steam" are all speculative. The carbon dioxide pressure produced by the process was very high, and one possibility is that it was necessary to let off "steam" before attempting to dispense the beer. According to Anchor Brewing, the name "steam" came from the fact that the brewery had no way to effectively chill the boiling wort using traditional means. So they pumped the hot wort up to large, shallow, open-top bins on the roof of the brewery so that it would be rapidly chilled by the cool air blowing in off the Pacific Ocean. Thus while brewing, the brewery had a distinct cloud of steam around the roof let off by the wort as it cooled, hence the name.

It is also possible that the name derives from "Dampfbier" (literally "steam beer"), a traditional German ale that was also fermented at unusually high temperatures and that may have been known to nineteenth-century American brewers, many of whom were of German descent."

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